“Meeting at 12.30pm in order to start as early as possible” was the agreed wisdom. All those always keen to play cricket as close to October as they dare, know that a prompt start is the only way to fit in 40 overs at this time of year.

12.26pm : Derrin successfully loses Horry and Jamie (following behind) in the Maida Vale area.

12.30pm : Captain of the Goodies and Emperor of the Goodies (Duncan and Olly) arrive bang on time at Wheathampsted Cricket Club

12.33pm : Nick Goodchild, on his new motorbike, knocks over a Chinese tourist outside Lords Cricket ground (“he was standing in the middle of the f***kin’ road, reading a map”).

1pm : Jamie and Horry arrive in St.Albans (via an American woman’s sat nav instructions).

1.20pm : Horry’s blaming America. Blacksmith’s warming up. Horry’s also blaming Luke. Duncan’s applying more deep heat. Luke’s calling Horry selfish. Nick’s still in his leathers. Stuart, our new keeper for the day is taking a few warm up throws for the first time in 20 years.

1.35pm : Blacksmith finally bowls the first ball of the game onto the artificial pitch that we’ve ended up playing on (Wheathampsted hadn’t entirely remembered that they were yet to play their most important fixture of the season and last weekend wasn’t actually their last game at all.) No wicket had been prepared. So we played on their astro-turf strip. Blacksmith didn’t seem to mind at all – he pinged the ball into the deck and Stuart, our keeper, steadily moving further and further back took ball after ball of the first over in front of his face. It was a baptism of fire for a man who, I repeat, hadn’t played in 20 years. The artificial strip had a bit of pace and bounce to it. Stuart kept remarkably well.

Luke also took the new ball and bowled well : a sharp catch by Miguel at 2^nd slip and a neat caught behind by Stuart gave Luke look 2 early wickets. Pudding was earning his pudding. But the outfield was super quick, the artificial strip brought the ball onto the bat nicely and they had some reasonable players. They ticked along at 5 an over with ease.

Horry soon had to go ball searching in some roadside bushes and left a particularly precious pair of sunglasses in there. The Wheathampsted innings can best be understood by the fact that Horry was given a whole host of opportunities to re-enter these bushes to find his lost sunglasses whilst looking for many, many lost balls (you’ll be relieved to know he eventually found his glasses). But what did Horry quietly mention to Nick Goodchild before Nick bowled the 38^th over, score on 200 and their batter having just clocked up his ton?

Had Horry mentioned to Nick how he had also dropped a whole wad of Money in the bushes and urgently needed to go back in there and find it all? Had he lost his Ipswich tickets for the big one against Scunthorpe next weekend? Maybe he’d dropped his amusing set of whoopy cushions from the joke shop?

Whatever was said and whatever had been left in the bushes (on the far side of the main road) it was obviously massively important, as Nick urgently dished up ball after ball, which, one after the other, got violently smeared into the bushes. Horry was immediately in there looking for 5 lost balls and his lost goods. He even commandeered a whole mass of local ramblers to help search. 26 off the over. Final total 234 off their 40.

Tea : universally agreed to be the spread of the season : marinated chicken dishes, hams, sausages, a Caesar salad, baguettes, coleslaw and all washed down with fresh strawberries and double cream. I mean, wow. We like Wheathampsted. How can Cowley be contemplating a foolishly early retirement when this sort of thing’s going on? A gorgeous Indian Summer’s day, Duncan’s Louise sitting on a rug, knitting on the boundary’s edge, all sorts of cricketing banter being thrown about –where’s Cowley?

235 required at pretty much 6 an over. A good, quick start required. Run rate needed to be kept under control. Doc, our skipper, wisely sends out a double Alpha opening partnership : Miguel and Luke walk to the wicket. Controlled hell breaks out. We reach 50 in the 7^thover. P’s cruising at about 8 an over. But Miguel over balances and is sharply stumped. The Chairman strides to the wicket. As is too often the case this season, he soon receives a spitting, spurting, swinging, seaming brute of a ball that cannons into his pads and then cruelly diverts onto his stumps.

Duncan joins Luke in the middle and together they manage to tick things along, both enjoying a quick pitch, a quick outfield and one short boundary – Luke eventually wins the “who-can-hit-a-moving-car-on-the-main-road-first-competition.” Luke eventually running passed one from their leggy and smartly stumped for an accomplished 76. Horry joined Duncan but unfortunately could only manage to score one less than his Ipswich managed to score mid-week against Nottingham Forest (who’ve won the European cup twice in their history – an incredible achievement for a relatively small east midlands club).

Duncan (a Forest supporter), then enjoyed the company of various partners and with the P’s still needing around 6 or 7 an over, it was looking like it was going to be a tight finish. However, Jamie arrived at the wicket and immediately showed his undeniable ability to help finish a run chase. He played really well and he and Duncan took the game away from Wheathamsted. However Duncan managed to lob up a catch for an 89....8 wkts down with 2 runs needed to win off the last 8 balls. 1 then needed off the last 3 balls.  There were rumblings of nervousness in the pavilion, but Jamie had it well under control, paddling a 4 down to fine leg. P’s win by 2 wickets. 5^thwin in a row.

Post match bar activities saw a selection of very sad Alpha players flicking through the 2009 scorebook working out season averages...while the Bad boys sat in the corner of the bar drinking heavily and pestering women (as the Bad Boys do).

A fine win and a fine season...